“Time to Man Up!”, or: Mother’s Escaped to a New Dimension and Here’s What I’ve Read in the First Six Months of 2024 (three months late)

My mother’s end was sad and pathetic, and very painful to me. Don’t get me wrong—I hated her guts—it’s best she’s gone—but it’s still painful.

The death of the Parasite lasted basically the first half of 2024 (parasite is what I started to call her at the end; she’d burned all her bridges with her preference for drugs and mental delusions over family and friends—I was the last one left who tolerated her—she probably had longer conversations with the pawn broker than her own flesh and blood). She died May 6, then the rest of May and June was spent dealing with the mess she left behind—not just the sizable physical mess (the loon hadn’t thrown away her junk mail for the last five—at least!—years), but the physic, legal, metaphorical, etc. messes left behind as well. 

She was someone who loved to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory just to prove she was right. But she was a dopefiend, and that ALWAYS guided her thought patterns—which were already scrambled; although I’m glad she was half in the bag most of the time: It allowed me to escape from her clutches and live the rich and rewarding life of a feral latchkey child. Did you know I taught myself to make gunpowder at the age of eleven? (Thank you, Golden Book of Chemistry Experiments!) 

[Stuff about books after break...]

MARCH OR DIE! 2015

 

No Apologies!

While I wish I had a better publishing schedule for LERNER INTERNATIONAL, I don’t.

Graduate school keeps a body very busy, and sacrifices must be made.

Busy doesn’t come close to describing the situation. Punch-drunk and dizzy is more like it.

But I’m learning so much and getting so much experience.

I’m aiming at becoming a teacher of writing and composition to adult learners, and have been doing more than just schoolwork: I’m tutoring students at the writing center, and occasionally being a TA for a class of freshman.

That said, I haven’t been doing any reading for fun, and movie watching is few and far between.

I think I saw more films in one week in January (during the break) than I have in the last two months (and these were some of the worst times of the winter; stuck indoors—perfect movie viewing weather—if you don’t have a gazillion pages of linguistic theory to read and annotate…).

List and brief descriptions below the break…

L.I.E. #119: Short Reviews, Fat Reviewer (the movies of November 2014)

Putting weight on—after spending such effort to lose it! Damn that sweet tooth!

Been really slacking off lately—and I know why: bad habits. Thought I had ’em licked.

Well, gotta get my nose to the grindstone, yessir!

No more sugar! No more wheat! No dairy! Starve!

The Rest of September’s Movies

[For no reason other than that I think it is beautiful, I am posting a recent cover of The New Yorker above. I don’t know who the artist is; I think I’ve seen and liked their work before. I really appreciate how this mystery illustrator captures and slightly caricaturizes the female form. Also, the women they draw always have a chic style and sturdy confidence. Call me a weirdo, but I’d like to think that these ladies could carry on a good conversation, too. These are smart chicks, dude, and they’re not afraid to show it!]

L.I.E. #115: LIBRARY ROULETTE! And What’s Been Seen So Far In September!

Let’s talk about LIBRARY ROULETTE!

Many of the movies (that is, DVDs) I watch are via the blessed New York Public Library (NYPL), but not so much from me wandering the stacks hoping to find what I want—to heck with that! I’m a (self)important man; I have things to do, places to be!

Besides the Hamilton Grange branch of the NYPL, on 145^th Street—as awesome as it is—doesn’t always have what I want.

But you can go to the NYPL’s website, and after you register, you can place holds on DVDs—which is what I do!

LIE #105: Back in the Saddle, Toot Sweet! (And the Films of January 2014) (& RIP PSH)

No way am I gonna let myself get behind schedule like I did last time; nuh-uh! No way, José.

That said, it sucks that Philip Seymour Hoffman had to go and OD. The tentacles of the Mind Parasites can confound and depress even the most successful of us…

I enjoyed PSH in everything I’ve seen him in, especially when the rest of the movie stunk.

And he was someone who could’ve had a LONG career: Not being a “pretty boy,” PSH had a wider range of character choices and possibilities. Growing older, he could’ve been a contemporary Charles Laughton or Edmund O’Brien.

The thing to do is appreciate what PSH did give us, hope that his explorations of a new dimension are successful, and pray that no one decides “Since PSH did dope, so should I.”

Like MacArthur, Odyseuss* and the Local Fish Graffiti, I Have Returned!

See that fish up there? He’s a piece of graffiti in my neighborhood, and whenever he’s painted over, he appears again in a few days. That fish rules, and is an inspiration.

Go, Fish! GO!

Wow! The time I have been taking between posts is inexcusable!

I do apologize, but lack of writing for LERNER INTERNATIONAL certainly doesn’t mean that I haven’t been busy.

Oh lordy, have I been busy!

[* = Odyseuss? He’s the guy who wrote Green Eggs and Circe’s Curse and The Scylla & Charyrbdis in the Hat, remember?]

L.I.E. ONE-HUNDRED!!!! Where No LIE Has Gone Before!

ONE HUNDRED POSTS!!!

Thanks to loyal readers and friends!

Your feedback and comments keep me going, and I really regret not being able to post as much as I would like.

That said, since I’ve subtitled this post “Where No LIE Has Gone Before!” it will be illustrated with some of the Star Trek images that I’ve had clogging my computer for too long.

I wasn’t going to use a picture or a cake, or the actual number “100.”

I love the original Trek—it was the show that Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea should have been.

The Original Trek was really about a U.S. battleship cruising the Pacific, keeping the peace—promoting the benevolent Pax Americana. Voyage was just dopey kids’ stuff—but set on the U.S. Navy’s most super-science submarine! Voyage should have been about subverting Castro and destroying the crops of Laos, not lobstermen, phony lizards and atom bomb swallowing whales! (Although that was a cool episode…) 

For the reviews of August and September (and more Trek pix, both from the show and our nation’s cosplayers), please read on:

Ray Harryhausen RIP—and the Movies of April 2013

Ray Harryhausen (1920-2013)

The Last of the Old School Special Effects Masters has passed away. Now Harryhausen joins Albert Whitlock, Derek Meddings, L.B. Abbott and a small handful of others creating special visual effects for the Afterlife—all without computers!

Big Ray was no hired hand, though:

Harryhausen’s was the rare case of the special effects man determining the path of the motion picture routinely—essentially acting as a hands-on producer (even the directors usually hired by him and partner Charles H. Schneer were non-entities: so as not to interfere?). His individualized, specific form of stop-motion animation is intractably tied to the movies they were in and vice versa.

There is a certain tone to Harryhausen’s flicks, combined with an extravagant but classical sense of fantasy that puts his name directly on the same level as George Pal and Walt Disney as the Masters of Family-Friendly Fantasy. You might consider it a level of “cheese” in Harryhausen’s wholesome enterprises, but it is extremely earnest, and absolutely charming—and drips with the hard work of one solitary man.

My Blue January: The 1/12th Index!

January was an arty and serious month for films viewed here at LERNER INTERNATIONAL: for the most part, a conscious decision to reinforce a more serious frame of mind, and to give myself more stimulating and thought-provoking input.

The Same-Ol’ Same-Ol’ just isn’t cutting it like it used to.

Man does not live by exploding robots, zooming cars and buckets of blood alone!

I needed cinema that exercised me; and gave me real stuff to chew on later.

Like a Combination of Narcolepsy, Dengue Fever and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome: The Films of December 2012

The year’s over, long live the New Year! (for roughly 365 days that is—even less now, actually…)

2013 is here, but does a year with “13” in it indicate good luck ahead, or bad?

The movies and shows watched in the twelfth month were, because I am very stressed out lately, mainly entertainment.

Also, lots of films were watched either because my “holds” at the library finally came through (Library Roulette: you never know what’s next!), or else on the recommendation of one of the many sites I routinely visit and read.

Let’s take a look!

Thirty-Wonderful Reviews of Halloween

Since I have been so lax (once again) in my attempts at a “31 Days of Shocktober,” I’ve instead made a list of 31 of my horror reviews for you to enjoy.

If I was a big liarpants, I’d say I’d watched all these movies this month, but that’s not how LERNER INTERNATIONAL ENTERPRISES rolls—even despite our abbreviation.

The majority of the reviews are in praise of the films in question, with the two negative reviews being recommendations towards fixing the flick in question (with one of those also being an overview of Tobe Hooper’s career).

Read on—links ahead!