Since I have been so lax (once again) in my attempts
at a “31 Days of Shocktober,” I’ve instead made a list of 31 of my horror
reviews for you to enjoy.
If I was a big liarpants, I’d say I’d watched all
these movies this month, but that’s not how LERNER INTERNATIONAL ENTERPRISES
rolls—even despite our abbreviation.
The majority of the reviews are in praise of the films
in question, with the two negative reviews being recommendations towards fixing
the flick in question (with one of those also being an overview of Tobe
Hooper’s career).
Read on—links ahead!
[Why no “31 Days of Shocktober”? (Lord only knows how
Dr. Morbius over at Krell Labs does it…)
31 Very Recommended Horror Films—pick a few for Halloween (and
you’re certainly staying in that night if you live on the East Coast; Hurricane
Sandy will see to that!)
Alphabetical, natch—
The Abominable Snowman [of the Himalayas] (1957; Val
Guest, written by Nigel Kneale) Kneale’s name shows up twice on this list, and
for a good reason: he writes fascinating and thought-provoking supernatural
tales, and this “Hunt for a Yeti” is no exception.
Altered (2006; Eduardo Sánchez)This way FUBAR
alien-abduction story is one of the best “Outer
Limits Episodes Never Made” and evidence that The Blair Witch Project
wasn’t a fluke.
Beware! The Blob! (1972; Larry Hagman) The first time
Del Close’s improvisational style of comedy, called “Harold,” comes to the
screen—in a horror comedy.
The Blob (1958; Irvin S. Yeaworth, Jr.) is the first
movie that ever gave me nightmares!
The Cabin in the Woods (2012; Drew Goddard) Mock Ye
Not The Dark Elder Gods!!!
The Car (1977; Elliot Silverstein) is far from perfect, but has a nasty streak
that’s quite nifty, providing shocks and surprises unfamiliar to the genre.
The Comedy of Terrors (1963; Jacques Tourner, written
by Richard Matheson) is an offshoot of the Corman-AIP-Poe series* (a subgenre I
truly enjoy), and it is
an underseen underrated quite marvelous old-school horror-comedy
featuring that trio of terror titans: Vincent Price (wonderfully snide and
nasty), Boris Karloff and Peter Lorre. They’re grave-diggers who decide to
increase their business through unconventional methods…
* = including The
Haunted Palace, Die Monster Die!
(both inspired by H.P. Lovecraft stories) and Michael Reeves’ incredible Witchfinder General (I actually prefer
the title AIP imposed on the film’s US release, The Conqueror Worm: taken from one of Poe’s works, I think that
title is more subtle and mysterious, even poetic).
Contagion (2011; Steven Soderbergh) Not only an
awesome and terrifying plague movie—as if Stanley Kubrick and Roger Corman
joined forces—
but The Goopster gets scalped! YOW!
The Day of the Beast (El día de la Bestia; 1995; Alex
de la Iglesia) More of a very well-structured blasphemous comedy-thriller than
a horror flick, but the first of infamous Spanish director de la Iglesia’s many
cinematic weirdnesses.
The Funhouse (1981; Tobe Hooper) Like, what the fuck
happened to Tobe Hooper?
I Saw the Devil (2010; Jee-woon Kim) The Koreans are
beating us at our own game—and it’s awesome!
Insidious (2011; James Wan) scared the crap out of me!
Killer Mountain (2011; Sheldon Wilson) is a
surprisingly good quasi-Lovecraftian monster movie, a diamond in the rough.
Maniac (1980; William Lustig) is superstar Joe Spinell’s
magnum opus, delving into the actor’s subconscious with unnerving results. And
gory as all get out!
Martyrs (2008; Pascal Laugier) is a film I recognize
as good, but don’t really like. Some friends are brought on-board to help analyze
this most intense and blood-drenched of films.
Omen III: The Final Conflict (1981; Graham Baker) is
an awful movie, but worth a look for one reason alone: young Sam Neill’s brilliantly
blasphemous monologs and sermons—why these haven’t been sampled by a techno
band is beyond me.
Onibaba (1964; written and directed by Kaneto Shindo)
is not just one of the best horror movies made (even an influence on The Exorcist!), but just a great film:
humanity at its most raw and superstitious.
A Perversion Story (a.k.a. One on Top of the Other)
(1969; Lucio Fulci) is really only for fans of Fulci—but you know who you are,
don’t you?
Shivers (a.k.a. They Came From Within) (1975; David
Cronenberg) is Dr. Dave’s first feature-length film and shows that he’s been
thinking crazy stuff since the beginning.
The Stone Tape (1972; Peter Sasdy; written by Nigel
Kneale) is a very modern and very English ghost story that may look cheap by
today’s standards, but is so rich in ideas that will challenge you and
stimulate the brain. Another slice of genius from author Kneale.
Thirst (“Bakjwi”) (2009; Park Chan-wook) is the Oldboy director’s brilliant remake of A Place in the Sun—with vampires!
The Todd Killings (1971; Barry Shear) is not only the
name of a great Angry Samoans song; it’s a “lost” feel-bad masterpiece, a
suburban Clockwork Orange where you
can’t cheer for the protagonist, you hate him.
Tucker & Dale vs. Evil (2010; Eli Craig) is a
gut-bustingly hilarious subversion of the undying Hollywood myth of Southern
Redneck Villainy, as well as an incredibly gory horror movie.
Wake In Fright (1971; Ted Kotcheff) is the finest kind
of “feel-bad” Savage Cinema.
The Wicker Man (1973; Robin Hardy, written by Anthony
Shaffer) is as unnerving as watching a noose tighten for about 90 minutes.
The Wicker Man is probably one of the smartest horror
flicks ever made, more about cross-cultural collision, than any sort of
monster, and is great food for thought.
Willard (2003; Glen Morgan) is exactly what I expected when I rented a Crispin Glover movie
about a boy and his rats: a gothic and campy character-study that often enters
into the macabre and grotesque, sometimes becoming an absolute stone-cold freak
show.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!
And thank you!
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