Y’know, I don’t
include the baseball games I go to…
I have not had the
motivation to WRITE like I used to.
But I won’t whine
about it; I don’t need to guilt-trip myself.
A ton of movies
absorbed in some crazy attempt at variety?
An eclectic mix
certainly, but lacking on anything pre-1950… I guess all my viewing is stuck in
certain eras and genres. I’m hardly ecumenical when you think about it—and very
much learn to subject matter best covered with a blanket marked, “Weirdness.”
But did watching this
stuff help me intellectually and creatively—like I know my reading this month
did—or did all these screenings just waste time, and worse, fill me with a
horrible regret? What the hell am I talking about?
everything—even supper! (Started a summer course before my spring courses
ended—what am I? Crazy?)
Feeling very…I dunno.
The semester has ended—thank
the Great Old Ones!—and I did well grade-wise (hey kids, studying hard and
midnight sacrifices to demon gods always works!), but the workload was so damn
intense and overwhelming and grinding that I don’t think that I have recovered
Then again, I’ve
never been much good while in between projects—especially the intense ones—and
then when the mood swings begin interfering, well, that’s all she wrote…
While I wish I had a
better publishing schedule for LERNER INTERNATIONAL, I don’t.
Graduate school keeps
a body very busy, and sacrifices must be made.
Busy doesn’t come
close to describing the situation. Punch-drunk and dizzy is more like it.
But I’m learning so
much and getting so much experience.
I’m aiming at
becoming a teacher of writing and composition to adult learners, and have been
doing more than just schoolwork: I’m tutoring students at the writing center,
and occasionally being a TA for a class of freshman.
That said, I haven’t
been doing any reading for fun, and movie watching is few and far between.
I think I saw more
films in one week in January (during the break) than I have in the last two
months (and these were some of the worst times of the winter; stuck
indoors—perfect movie viewing weather—if you don’t have a gazillion pages of
linguistic theory to read and annotate…).
Honestly, 2014 was
probably one of the toughest years of my life, burning me out to the core of my
soul, messing with my health, emptying my bank account and essentially ruining
But WOW, I learned a
lot about myself and the “System.”
Like I will never
teach in a public school. Not because the kids are monsters (and many of them
are), but because the pedagogical bureaucrats and creeps run the show—and their
one desire is a classroom full of obedient zombies. Teaching students how to be
quiet and sit up straight was more important that engaging them intellectually.
Sad, really, and I want no part of it.
Wow, this month, I
really caught up (sort of) with my movie viewing and “for fun” reading (not
that any reading these days doesn’t have an ulterior motive).