Perhaps the Ancient Astronauts Are NOT Our Friends…

They always land in the desert. Maybe they like the heat...

You’ve heard about it, and probably scoffed—

In a (ahem) nut-shell,

Ancient Astronaut Theory is the idea that “Space Gods” came to Earth, worked some of their tech-so-advanced-it-looks-like-magic on some apes, jumpstarting their DNA towards the big-brained critters that we are today.

This is a Venusian from an episode of
"The Outer Limits."
Venus has sulfuric acid rain and is
hot enough on the surface to melt
lead. What our planet will be one day.

The believers, like Erich von Däniken, the author of Chariots of the Gods? (don’t forget the question mark!), add on that these hyper-intelligent, galaxy-crossing beings used to return every now and then, and check up on us—helping the Egyptians build the pyramids, the Incas with their Nazca Lines landing strips and showing the Mayans how to invent TV.

I won’t go into that stuff too much, because many others have covered it better, but I am looking at this in a way I don’t think others have.

Please read on…

The Return of the Reviews! The Films (& Books) of June & August

So, what the heck have I been up to?

Six months of intense and hellish training to be a prison guard to the young folks, that’s what: I was in the bowels of the edjoomakashun system, lorded over by a series of Dolores Umbridges—which thankfully in the long run, I was rejected for—

“Let’s use brutal, militaristic techniques to keep the young’uns in line, to make them good little worker bees—oh, there’s no jobs and poverty creates a toxic stress environment as well as cycle of defeat? Not to mention the learned helplessness where folks say, ‘Why bother to try and improve when the dice are loaded, the cards marked and the game is rigged right from the start?’ Well that’s not our problem….”

Basically it was like dealing with the students of Mao’s Cultural Revolution: Obey or die!

Listen up boy, you gotta get your mind RIGHT. 

Here’s the thing: these Umbridges claim to “love the children,” but I believe they only do so in the most abstract way….

But I’ve burned enough bridges already…

One day I will go into further detail—but today is not that day—today is September 1, and it’s the start of the final quarter of 2014, and it’s a new page in my life.

Getting my ducks in a row, looking forward, and NEVER giving up. The only way you’re going to stop me is by chopping off my head—and then you better watch out: the Gypsy said if that happens, my right hand with come after you…and avenge me.

Now, onto the movie reviews! (Most of which will be very short; I just wanna get this one out of the way—break the silence, and get back on track…)

But I'm Not Dead Yet...

Nope, not dead. Just verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry busy. 
Updates soon. 
Enjoy some Funkadelic. 
Don't the Stooges look awesome? 

Finally in June, We Get April & May…

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I haven’t posted in a long time. I get it.

Well, read on, MacDuff, and find out more!

2014’s (much delayed) March Movie Madness—With “The Monster Times” as a Visual Montage!

This has been the most wonderfully KEE-RAY-ZEE month of my life, and lemme tell ya: I’ve never been happier.

I apologize for my lack of posts, and for using this as an excuse to brush up on my typing skills.

You see, I’m taking a big certification test tomorrow and as it turns out, there will be no “writing in the blue books”—hasn’t been any in yonks, it seems—the testing is all computerized now.

Meaning I have to be able to type in my thoughts toot damn sweet tomorrow.

Oh, did I mention my test is tomorrow?

Sorry, I've Been Busy....

Stuff is on the horizon, but man, I have been BIZZZZZZZZZZZZEEEEEE!

LIE #108: Signs & Wonders Abounded in February, and Most Weren’t Even Cinematic Ones!

Lemme tell ya, February was a HARSH month here in The Big Apple:

This winter was CRUEL—and it smells like it might just return one last time—and then there were all my personal hassles—which I have been hinting at somewhat during my infrequent posts over the last 18 months….

But Big Bad Febz was also an incredibly busy month for me: Got 47 day’s worth of work accomplished in 28! I worked in a smelly warehouse, visited the Toy Fair, did this, did that, did the other thing, did the right thing, and even more importantly:

I have been, after much stress and worry, accepted into the NYC Teaching Fellows program, and within less than a month, I will be in an inner city high school, first assisting a teacher, then taking over a class myself!

Whoa!

I am SO excited and nervous!

Suffice to say, some changes may be on the horizon, but as of yet, what those changes could be are as yet, unknown.

But hopefully I won’t lapse back into the poor publishing schedule which plagued me recently…